Today was so not zen, man.

Man, there was a point last night where I totally understood Chinese.

I wanted to tell Max about it, but he wasn't around. So then I was like, "Hey, wait!"

Oh, dudes (lady-dudes)! Have you every said something out loud and thought it in your head at the exact same time!? It's so freaky, you become this human echo machine. I mean, it really makes you think about how you think. And what it all means. It's, like, the firing of neurons, and the sound waves ... they just mix, you know? And you get this mind harmony.

But anyways, I was like, "Hey, wait!" Because I have this journal, and there are other people out there!

So, yeah. Last night, I was watching TV when I realized I spoke Chinese. It was awesome.

I wish Max would come back. The store needs more cheese.

Oh snap, dudes. I found this journal thing in a half empty bag of Cheetos. Freaky. Do you think journals are capable of being lulled in by, like, cheesy flavored goodness? 'Cause I dunno how it would have got in there otherwise.

I love Cheetos.

And doritos. And fritos.

Really, anything in the "tos" family of food is pretty good by me, man.

I wonder if we could get the Cheetos cat to come to the store. We could sell cheetos, man! If a cat sponsors them, they are totally the cat snack food of choice. I really need to run that by Max. Hopefully he won't be too busy worrying about the Skinny Chick Who Isn't Katia.

Oh, yeah! There's been this skinny chick living with us the past couple of months. She's cool. Not very good at Rock Band though. There was this dude after her, this one time. He ruined the zen of the store, and put me in the hospital. That totally sucked man. The hospital is always just trying to keep you down - treating the symptoms, and not the disease, man; it's no good. It's a total conspiracy by the man to keep us down from using real cures!

The jello cups they give you are good though.

So, uh, hey dudes. It's been awhile thing I wrote in this thing. My bad, guys. But, hey, it's cool though - now I've got like a lot to share.

Like, oh, my fliers! Maybe you've seen 'em in Hogsmeade? Max and I have been trying to post, um, you know, everywhere. Well, not everywhere, man, that's a little beyond us. But everywhere that has a flat surface. Or an adhesive one. I'm big on the adhesive one's myself. They're pretty sweet.

But oh yeah! We're looking to hire people now, at the store. Like, all of a sudden I realized I wanted more people working for me, so I was like, "Hell yeah, I'm going to make fliers!" And I did! And they're pretty sweet, right? Max did most of the writing. He's got wicked penmanship. I guess, like, it's 'cus he works with his hands, a lot, right? Carving coconuts and doing people's teeth and stacking books and stuff. High procession work.

We've already got one new hire, this pretty cool chick named Calypso. She's not really able to work the same hours Katia used to though so we need, like, at least two more people. So yeah! Give me a heads up if you're interested, dudes.

But more importantly, okay, let me know about the Guitar Hero thing, okay! See, I've got the new Rockband game, right, right? And it's pretty sweet. But we don't have anyone who's ace at the guitar part, so our band sucks. And we want to rock, you know? That's like the whole point. Like, we're thinking if find someone good enough, we'll take the band on the road. Get some backup dancers to dance along DDR style, and hit the talent show circuit. It would be hardcore, man.

So hey there dudes and lady dudes. This is Tom here. I own Paw Prints - you know, the cat bookstore? We sell other things too, 'cause being entirely inclusive like that would be lame and all, but the point is, it's a store for people who like cats. And stuff.

Anyways, it's a cool place.

Maybe you guys know Katia? She works for me. She's on a break now though, which is cool. Breaks are good. I'm a nap man myself. But, ah, what was I saying? Ah, yeah. Katia. She's a cool chick. The knitting club ladies miss having her around. We have a knitting club, you know, at the store. It's cool. It meet at lunchtimes on Mondays and Wednesdays. It used to meet on Fridays too, but Gladys broke her hip falling down some stairs somewhere so she goes to therapy on Fridays then, so the rest of the ladies don't want to exclude her. Which is cool of them.

So, I have this journal now, and I'm using it for, ah, stuff I guess? Katia gave it to me. Came in the mail all the way from California. Trippy to think about, isn't it, how a thing can be in one place and then, like, wham, it's in another entirely different place on the other side of the world. I mean, it's a pretty cool thing, the mail. I like it.

So, yeah. I have this journal now. Katia said it connects me to other people, which is pretty trippy in and of itself. She said it might be good for business. So yeah. I'm going to write in from time to time. Tell you people who I have a connection with about our super sales and stuff. Maybe Max will write in it too. I don't know thought. He's his own person, man. I'm not the boss of him. I can't tell him what to do.

...

Except, I *am* the boss of him. He works for me. Whoa! That's like a paradox or something.